Joey is giving Leo and Charley coal for Christmas

but you've got to be tough when consumed by desire
( Read more... )

It's a weird thing when you remind yourself not to get your hopes up before realising that you don't have enough hope for it to matter. But it doesn't mean my fingers aren't crossed.

WARDED TO BLONDTOURAGE

I've moved in with Ellie. She was helping me pack things up in the flat and I realised I couldn't live there anymore, and I wanted to go back to Tinworth but she made a good point that neither of us should probably be alone right now. So. That's where I am.

WARDED TO AUROR OFFICE

I know that I know as much about this trial as the trainees do, but I have faith in all of you that it's going to go flawlessly and with any luck whatever you have on him will be strong enough for a Kiss.

I know things have been sh hard recently, but I just wanted to say that I couldn't ask for a better group of coworkers (and future coworkers, provided you all keep your noses clean and work hard) and that I'm grateful to all of you and the tireless hard work you put into everything. And don't just say "just doing my job" because it's more than that and you all know it.

Anyways, whoever is on trial duty please send me updates and take pictures every few seconds because I'm dying to know absolutely everything.

WARDED TO ELLIE

Hi. I have a bit of a huge favour to ask. And you can say no if you don't feel up to it.


But. Well. I know I need to go back to my flat soon. And I don't think I can stomach packing up Ro his things on my own. And since you've been going over there to tend to Wig and Panda I was just thinking that maybe. I don't know, maybe you could give me a hand tonight?

WARDED TO AUROR OFFICE, EXCL TRAINEES

Frank was able to identify the family as that of the Bones' - relations to Hitwizard Oliver Bones.

• 7 victims counted
1. Charles Bones - elderly man, patriarch of family. Found in foyer, COD Killing Curse
2. Lydia Bones - elderly woman, matriarch of family. Found in foyer, COD Killing Curse
3. Edgar Bones - middle aged man. He had a false leg made of bronze, likely had this before the attack. Still cataloging other injuries sustained. Found in foyer, COD Killing Curse
4. Charlotte Bones - middle aged woman. She had horns transfigured on her head, but we are still cataloging other injuries. Found in kitchen, COD Killing Curse.
5. Alexander Bones - male child of about 15. Was found in his bedroom trapped inside a giant sand timer. COD appears to be asphyxiation due to the sand.
6. Guinevere Bones - female child of about 13. Was found in her bedroom trapped in a spider web. COD appears to be poison sustained from the bite of poisonous creature. Creature has not yet been found.
7. Percival Bones - male child of about 12. Was found in his bedroom. COD is asphyxiation, likely from the viciously enchanted stuffed bear (more on that below).
• No signs of forced entry. In fact, wards were completely down. Suspect use of invoking You Know Who's name.
• Inside the house there is damage from blasting curses in the foyer. Also there was an absurd amount of swords mounted there but no thongs and at least one was definitely used in the fight. The rest of the house was not damaged, as there did not appear to be much of a struggle from the other inhabitants.
• There was an enchanted stuffed bear roaming the house attempting to suffocate me people. It was stomped on subdued.

This is definitely the work of Death Eaters, considering the reports of a Dark Mark. Why the Bones'? Edgar has two siblings - Oliver, as mentioned above, who is married and has a newborn daughter. Also a sister, Amelia, who we also know as a barrister and has put away more than a few Death Eaters. My initial impression is that this was retaliation against Oliver and Amelia for their roles in opposing the Death Eaters and putting away some of their members. But it definitely bears being investigated. Also, someone needs to inform Oliver and Amelia.

I should have stayed in b

This is such bullsh

Ugh, nevermind.

WARDED TO ALICE

Bullshit! No fucking way did he imperius Avey. What the FUCK? That isn't actually going to fly is it?

Today I helped bury my best friend and his brothers - men who have always felt like they were brothers of mine as well. I guess there isn't much to say after writing that sentence and I'm not the best with saying things nicely anyways. But if Purists others can wax poetic about lost loved ones then I'm entitled to that right as well, aren't I?

I met Robbie when I was eleven on the Hogwarts Express. I'm Muggleborn, so all I knew about magic and Hogwarts is what the Ministry people told my parents and what I read in my textbooks. Robbie was my first experience with someone magical my own age, and I couldn't have asked for a better teacher. He made magic fun. I know lots of people only know him for speaking out and saying what was on his mind and his opinions, even if they weren't popular, but he was more than that. Is more than that. He had passion, excitement, a sense of adventure that most people will die never having. A "what's the point of living if you aren't going to enjoy it?" mentality that was contagious. Thanks to Robbie I enjoyed Hogwarts. I didn't waste it away in the library. I snuck out, I got caught. I made too much noise, I served too many detentions. But in the end I enjoyed being a student there and I enjoyed being a teenager there. I don't think everyone can say that.

It doesn't seem right to say he was my boyfriend. He wasn't. He was, I don't know. Maybe there isn't a word for it. How do you describe someone that you'd stop breathing for in a second without thinking twice if it meant you could save them? We spent seventeen years denying there was anything more than friendship before he finally forced it out of me. It's fucking terrifying. Change and all that. And it wasn't perfect. We fought, we disagreed, we broke up, we got back together. That says something, doesn't it?

I guess all I really want to say is that it feels like half of me is buried now too. I feel like eighteen years of my life has just been taken and it's really fucked up and I hate it. I hate a lot of things and I wish I could tell you exactly how I feel or what I am wishing for but delicate sensibilities will be offended and I don't have the patience to tell you how much of a fuck I don't give about it.

WARDED TO BARTY SNR, RUFUS AND GAWAIN

I'm going to be taking grievance leave. I understand we will need to discuss my behaviour regarding the reasons for my grievance leave, but I'm requesting it not be until after I return.

WARDED TO BERTIE

Hi. I'm sorry for bothering you with this, but I was wondering if I could get some Dreamless Sleep potions? I've only managed a few minutes at a time over the past couple days. Anything would help. I hope Terrence is feeling better.

WARDED TO ALICE

I'd like to visit Fenella and the girls. Evie said to ask you about it. She asked me to visit so I could give them a hug.

Today I woke up to find my marmoset taunting my cat by dangling food over the edge of the counter. I blame Robbie for this behaviour, clearly.

WARDED TO DMLE

Did anyone catch the end of the trial? I feel like I'm in a blackhole with my case files down here.

WARDED TO ROBBIE

I figured we'd stay at Neil's tonight so you can stay in one place for a bit. He said it was all right.

But I've been thinking about a better solution.

I love when the office has pastries I am capable of digesting. It's the little things.

WARDED TO AUROR OFFICE, MINUS TRAINEES AND SECRETARIES

So I can't let this was looking over the McKinnon-Prewett crime scene report and decided to compile my personal notes for everyone to discuss in an effort for this not to fall into another dead end. I know this shit isn't my job but someone needs to take charge of th Crouch, Scrimgeour, Robards: if you have anything to add or change let me know.

What we know

• Victim: Marlene McKinnon-Prewett
• 27 years old
• Lives in Scotland with 1 flatmate: her brother, Robert McKinnon
• Host of WWN program "Madwoman on the Wire with Marlene McKinnon"
• Halfblood
• Last seen by the WWN security guard, Bob. Claims they discussed the crossword puzzle before she left. Nothing seemed off and she did not appear to be nervous or acting as if she was in danger.
• Body discovered by Sturgis Podmore
• Left on his doorstep, claims he heard a knock on his door but saw no one.
  
• Dark Mark above the Leakey Cauldron
• Body was moved posthumously by both the attacker and by Podmore himself
• Only fingerprints found belong to Podmore
• Cause of death is blood loss caused by a slicing hex to the carotid artery
• Appearance of wounds caused prior to death, suggesting torture
• Suffocation curse, non lethal
• Bone twisting curse to ribs, non lethal though ribs suffered significant damage
• Flaying curse to stomach, non lethal though significant blood loss
• Message reads: "1 down, 7 to go
• According to victim's brother, Neil McKinnon, Marlene suspected she was being followed prior to death of her husband, Fabian Prewett. Following his death she assumed it was related to that and did not mention the suspicion again.

What we suspect

• Marlene McKinnon-Prewett was likely a vigilante.
  
• Her husband and brother-in-law were confirmed and several artificats of hers were found at the former Order safe house. She was questioned after this and while no concrete proof was found to convict her, she has remained a suspect.
• Given the type of death, her placement, and the message the killing seems personal and intentional as opposed to random.
  
• We know the Death Eaters have targeted vigilantes personally before (ie, the Prewetts).
• The message on her stomach is directed towards her family.
• There are 7 remaining McKinnon family members (mother, Vera, is deceased)
  
• Father: Graeme McKinnon
• Brother: Neil McKinnon
• Sister-in-law: Fenella McKinnon
• Niece: Lucy McKinnon
• Niece: Evelyn (Evie) McKinnon
• Brother: Irving McKinnon
• Brother: Robert (Robbie) McKinnon
• Her brother, Robbie, has a currently open case involving a Death Eater attack on him, so the Death Eaters have a history of targeting the family.

What we need to do

• Find suspects
• Look through Marlene's journal for hostile interactions
• Considering their history, it is probable that the McKinnon family has enemies and suspects in their minds
• We should interview the brothers and find out who they believe would target their sister. Then look into those names and see if they coincide with any of our current Death Eater suspects. Ones that match should be investigated first.
• Look into protecting the rest of the family
• While I know we do not have the resources for constant monitoring of such a large family, considering that Death Eaters have made them a target it seems as if it would be remiss not to have any monitoring on them. Both for protection and because, if they do send someone after them, it would be a lost opportunity for another attempt at capturing them.
• There are two small children. With Fenrir Greyback as a Death Eater I am not taking any chances that the Death Eaters will spare them because they are young. Plus, they were included in the "7."

Discuss/Volunteer?

Robbie is staying with me following the attack on his sister, so I can volunteer to keep an eye on him.

WARDED TO ROBBIE

Awake?

WARDED TO McKINNONS charmed to ring until it has been answered by all parties

I apologise for the time. I know it's late, but this is important.

I need you all to meet me at your father's place immediately. Neil, you should find a sitter. I'll be there in fifteen minutes. I'm sor I don't know how else to do th

Tinworth's never had dragons.

Just sayin.

There's a tonne of reasons I'm grateful that my nephew is a Muggle. Hag week is just one of those reasons. Purists are anoth

WARDED TO BLONDTOURAGE

So Robbie and I are I have some n I miss you all.

Except Alice, but that's just because I see her every day.

Love you Alice!

WARDED TO SHERLOCK

I'm beginning to think we should just ward to each other whenever we have an opinion or an original thought that isn't "Yes sir" "What can I do for you sir?" "Whatever you say sir!"

Because I want to punch something right now and it still hurts when I train too hard.

WARDED TO ROBBIE

You know, it seriously inhibits our ability to hook up when you disappear over a whole weekend.

neil.

belated birthday wishes things. hope it was great. i'd have said it yesterday but i got my journal taken away after i threw it at my nurse when she wouldn't give me any more poti i was sleeping. i'd send you something but the only thing i have right now is mungo's food which is gross because it's all in smoothie form and made of gross things.

Did you know that the only word in the English language that has three letters in a row that repeat is "bookkeeper"?

Now you do.

( cut for image, not warded )

He was sitting at my door when I finished my run. He wasn't Inferi food after all! And I think he's even gained a few pounds!

I think today is going to be a good day.

WARDED TO ROBBIE

Sorry about that wake up.

Okay, not sorry. Totally worth it. He's back!! This is the best thing ever!

You know that it's fall when you go out shopping and find fur boots. I might be premature, but I really don't want to take them off.

But I will, because my "I Survived The Zombie Apocalypse" celebratory shoes just might be the most fabulous things I have ever seen in my life. If you don't believe me, just ask Marlene. I'm in love!

WARDED TO AURORS; MINUS WIBLIN AND TRAINEES

Today, on Adventures in Stalking, Elliot Avery left work and went to a park to jump in leaves with Mulciber.

Why don't I do that when I leave work?

WARDED TO EMME

1. Are you home?
2. Are you dressed?
3. If the answers to the above are yes, can I come over?

WARDED TO ALICE

Womanly problems? Really? I've been rotting for three weeks and I'm still coming into the office. I need miss you.

Oh. Hey. So I'm not dead. Weird shit, but I think I've come to terms with it.

WARDED TO ROBBIE

Hi! Look I am using capitals! And punctuation! And semi-correct sentence structure!

So randomly in the middle of the night we were all mostly healed. Super weird. If I believed in Jesus I'd be convinced he was standing in the lobby doing water to wine tricks, but with my health. So yes. Not dying anymore. Yay.

I am going to sleep here over night since I'm still missing a majority of my leg muscles and then I am going to sleep in my own bed until whenever I wake up because fuck it if I'm using an alarm. I have to report for desk duty as soon as I'm capable but, ha ha, sleep is so much more vital right now. But after that I'd like to see you. If you want.

Just thought I'd let you know that you didn't get rid of me yet.

oh for the love of god no one is going to kiss a hag you can all stop flipping the fuck out already

how the fuck would anyone even get a hag into tinworth anyways i dont think the zombies care that they eat babies theyd bite them too i doubt they discriminate

it was funny until everyone started thinking it was actually serious jesus it was one of the few funny things id heard and you all had to murder it with a bloody machete

WARDED TO BLONDTOURAGE

hi okay so i am having a somewhat lucid moment and before it goes away and i start communicating in morse code with tinkerbell like i did yesterday i wanted to talk to you guys

i just wanted to say that i love you and its been fun and thank you for forcing food on me when i wasnt hungry and pushing me out of the office so i would sleep and for listening or reading as i went on and on and on about robbie oh and speaking of him he and the toddler broke up and she told him to ask me not to kill her isnt that adorable i am rotting to death and cant move and she is still scared of me

anyways i told emme she could have my shoes but i have a lot a lot so emme dont be selfish and share them with alice and belinda and if you dont wear them they have the right to take them from you also emme you can keep panda obviously but if someday tinworth becomes not a zombie town can someone look for wig and take him in i know he isnt very pretty or very nice but i really love that kneazle if none of you want him i guess you can force him on robbie because they understand each other oh and alice i told bertie that terence could have my eyepatches especially the pirate one in my desk

okay i think that is the gist of it take care and be safe and try to sleep sometime in memory of me

WARDED TO FENELLA

i know this sounds really bad and i am sorry for asking but is there any way to speed this up

it just really hurts and im tired now and i think i would just like for it to be over

I tried to write this entry. And my quill was out of ink. So I banged it against the bed rail. And I think I broke my wrist. [We're sorry, Dictaquill™ is unable to translate. Please speak slowly and clearly] Sorry. This does not work as great when you are coughing up your spleen. But until my wrist heals it will have to do.

I just wanted to say that I think I have maggots living in my legs. Sometimes they are there and sometimes they are not. I tried to name them but I cannot [We're sorry, Dictaquill™ is unable to translate. Please speak slowly and clearly] Sorry. I cannot tell them apart. Maggots are tiny after all. That and my nurse may be a vampire. I think she is. Her teeth look really really long.

eww

I've made a game over my temperature. Don't ask me how to play it, I'm too delerious to tell you.

WARDED TO ALICE AND GLYN

First one to get Emmeline out of the office and into her bed and make her stay there for a full eight hours gets ice cream.

Rules? There are none. Drug her food, Imperius her, drag her out caveman style, etc. etc. etc.

GO

WARDED TO ROBBIE

Hi. Weird question. You didn't tell Florean to send me ice cream did you?

WARDED TO KINGSLEY

Are you feeling up to food diagnostic spells? I can barely ward straight right now. I got some ice cream from Florean but it was sent by an Anonymous person and not that I don't trust Florean but what if someone is just SAYING they're Florean? Anyways, it looks delicious and I want to make sure it won't kill me faster.

added later: WARDED TO IMOGEN

Hello again. Sorry for the odd question. You didn't happen to have Florean send me anonymous ice cream did you? I wouldn't ask but I've been racking my brain over what he said was a "very sweet and apologetic anonymous source" and have absolutely no idea so I thought I would grasp at straws.

added later: WARDED TO BLONDTOURAGE

Someone is sending me anonymous ice cream via Florean. Kingsley is helping me check it. What the hell? Never mind that. What is the protocol for receiving anonymous apologies from your ex's current girlfriend?

Thanks lungs. Really. Because I needed another reason to not sleep be over this shite.

[ooc: Alice and Joey's convo is all warded with the Auror ward. Handwave magic!]

[WARDED TO AURORS, MINUS TRAINEES/SECRETARIES]

So I made it to Prewett Potter researching the current lines of old Pureblood families. I got this coughing fit that lasted for fucking forever so I had to st I finally ended up passing out. Maybe Purism is a better cure for Insomnia than a sleeping potion?

Cheap Shoes Candidates
Black, Sirius: Vocally anti-purist and disinherited heir of the Black family. Probability low, but in the sake of examining all options has been added. Who knows? The vocalisation could be a very good cover in his attempt to win back familial approval or something.

Potter, James: On the same lines as the above. Probability even lower, given how it doesn't seem like even his family gives into that shite Purism. Still. Kid recently out of school who might not care about shoes.


Red Hair Candidates
Meliflua, Junia: Not a male, admittedly, but she is young and comes from a vocally purist family and is also on our suspect list from the Order, plus she has red hair. Voice changing charm? Probably a stretch, but I'm putting her down.


Eliminated Candidates
Avery, Elliot: Does not have red hair. I've never looked at his shoes but I doubt they're cheap. Someone look and report back.

Black, Regulus: Due his family's position in society, it is reasonable to believe that appearance is not only important but vital, so cheap trainers do not seem something he might own. Also, although he is technically out of Hogwarts, he is still practically twelve a child. Not to say You Know Who would not stoop to recruiting children, but why send out someone from such a prestigious line into a fight with only a handful of months in which to have trained him? Also, hair is black.

Burke, Charlotte: Does not have red hair. Also, doubtful she runs out to do battle in cheap trainers. Not a male either. Check her shoes just in case.

Crouch, B Mulciber, Alexander: Not a red head. Seriously doubt he is wearing cheap shoes, even if he is a swot vocal Purist with a history of being accused of Dark Magic. Might still be a Death Eater, but doubtful he is Red Hair or Cheap Shoes.


I'll finish this list when I can stop coughing for ten minutes at a time when I can. But there's some food for thought. I still think Cheap Shoes is more like to be a Halfblood from a formerly Pure line or a Halfblood with Purist leanings and a need to prove himself beyond Classism. But, elliminating the Purebloods is the first step, like Alice said.

[WARDED TO BLONDTOURAGE]

Help I don't know what to I'm going to swear in this Alice. But I need to.

It's really fucking unfair. And not just because no one knows what the fuck is wrong with any of us. I'm fucking contagious so none of you are even allowed to visit me unless you somehow did it illegally and apparently the only person capable of that magic is probably the one person I should not be allowed to be around after two nights of not being able to sleep due to everything in my body just not fucking cooperating. And I can't drink. And I can't work. And I can't do anything except lay here and itch and ache and grow back skin and wait for some fucking cure and all I can do is think about the fact that it's really really over and I fucking hate it.

Oh. If you didn't guess he came by. Somehow. I don't fucking know. Maybe he used his "I volunteer at Mungo's and somehow they haven't revoked my Volunteer Status!" to get in? And we didn't fight. But I wish we had because then I wouldn't want to just suffocate myself.

[WARDED TO AUROR OFFICE, MINUS TRAINEES]

Is there any paperwork I can do? Something I can do without leaving bed? I know I have a lot of cases. There has to be something I can work on. Please

[handwriting is messy and crooked, some blood on page]

[WARDED TO AURORS/HITWIZARDS, MINUS TRAINEES]

Sorry. About the lack of warning. On the undead. Didn't see them when I warded. Then I was busy. Thanks Moody for the pick up though.

I know most of you are working the scene. But I wanted to get this down before Fenella knocks me out with something. I was jogging, around midnight. Got back to my flat. Heard a noise. Looked up. Death Eaters fighting people on brooms. Maybe about 3 or 4 Death Eaters? Something fell. Then there was an explosion sound. And fog everywhere. So I warded. Then went to investigate.

I ended up running into a vigilante. Got surrounded by Inferius. So we fought them off. No I did not arrest him on the spot. Would have kind of screwed us both. We went to escape for the stairs. He disappeared. Don't know if he just escaped or got grabbed. I got to the landing of this building. Blew up the stairs. Then saw air patrol so I signaled.

Vigilante was definitely glamoured or something. Since I don't think Sylvester Stallone is a secret wizard. He could handle himself too. So there's that.

Don't know where the Inferi came from. Don't know how. But it hurts like a bitch when they bite so try not to let that happen.

[WARDED TO DMLE]

Tinworth. Death Eaters. Thick fog. Send backup ASAP.

THEY STEPPED ON MY FUCKING FLAT Is anyone really good at finding a kneazle in a rubble haystack?

McKINNONS

I wrote your brother and told him to come back to England. If he gets the owl. If not I suspect you lot are sick of him being gone so if there is a retrieval plan in place I am so on board and approve of it all. And if he didn't get my letter, well, sucks for whoever did.

Marlene, I know things are shitty in your neck of the woods right now. If you want to stay with me until Robbie gets back you're always welcome.

If anyone else needs anything I'm at the Auror office but I can be available.

I got the best present a few days ago. Anonymous, so I had to check it for traps and hexes before I could use it and talk about it. Themed eyepatches!! They're fantastic!! Right now I just have my black one but now I have THEMED ones! I think I'm going to go buy more too. Rhinestone skull and crossbone? Yeah I can rock that.

WARDED TO ROBBIE

You should hear about my night last night. I mean, I can't tell you about it yet, but, you should hear about it. When I can.

You know what wakes you up in the morning?

Finding a marmoset sleeping in your jar of coffee beans.

How the hell did he even get in there?

WARDED TO MOODY

So I am really over deskwork. And I can't go back on active duty until Scrimgeour is convinced that things won't be a liability. And, well, I thought that maybe since you had a similar injury you could train with me? Help me with my now enormous blind side? If you think I'm fit for duty he'd probably agree.

WARDED TO WENDY AND STURGIS

There is a fucking child in my flat and Robbie claims it's his.

I'm ready to go back to work now. Seriously.

WARDED TO ROBBIE

Death Eater attack. Hogwarts. I'll ward when I get back to the office. Leaving now. Love you.

WARDED TO DMLE (minus Heads)

I think a pint is way overdue with this Minister shite. I'll be at the Hog's Head tonight if anyone wants to join me.

WARDED TO ROBBIE

Hey love. I think I'm going to grab a drink with some coworkers. It's been a bloody ridiculous week with the minister. Want me to stop by your place after?

I have a marmoset!!!

His name is Panda.

WARDED TO SHERLOCK

I have tomorrow off. Did you want to come over? Scrimgeour will get you rehired, but until then we can work out a schedule based on when I was a first year trainee. I'll go over things with you at night after I get off work and when I can get out on the weekends.

This dragonfuckery will be fixed. Don't worry.

WARDED TO ROBBIE

I know it's my nice day off tomorrow, but the batshit crazy Minister fired Sherlock last night so I invited him over to help him figure things out. Be nice.

So around December my mum quit her job as a Nurse at St. Mungo's. Awful timing, I know. Sorry Mungo's. Anyways she quit because I couldn't be responsible for my nephew, Joseph, on the weekends anymore. I had to work through them a lot. And I was working later and later too. So mum decided it was going to be her watching him or he'd likely get picked up by a werewo hag or something. Fun right? Anyways, I miss him. I haven't seen him or my mum or anyone I'm related to in ages. And family is important.

I'm, admittedly, not a Pureblood. So I don't know the whole logic behind the ideology. But considering emphasis is placed on Purisim and family trees, it stands to reason that family is important to them too. Maintaining their purity and lines or some rubbish thing. Correct me if I'm wrong here.

I think family is important to Muggleborns too. And they shouldn't be deprived of that. Some couples try very hard for a child, and plan and hope for them. Taking them away from someone who loves them and desires them? Well. All children deserve loving parents, and some aren't fortunate enough to have them. Don't deprive those who are lucky enough for them.

This opinion does not represent the views of the Ministry or the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. I am not speaking as an Auror. And, should this Bill pass, I will enforce it as I do all laws. But as a citizen and an aunt? I think the best interest of the child is being loved.

WARDED TO ROBBIE

I'm sorry for crying on you. It was a rough night.

WARDED TO DMLE (MINUS HEADS)

Have any of you ever had your patronus       change?

WARDED TO MARLENE

Your brother is in a holding cell. He's fine. Just drunk. So he won't be home.

WARDED TO STURGIS

I need to get some sleep. But I'm so angry I can't see straight. Tell me I should have known this would happen when I started dating him and it's my own fault?

Is this what non-Magical Maintenance constructed sunlight looks like?

Huh. I'd forgotten I think.

WARDED TO ROBBIE

We're being evacuated from the Ministry! A pipe burst or something and I was not chosen to tough it out on emergency duty. It's daylight still and I do not have work so let's do something!

WARDED TO ROBBIE

You at your flat?

Never a dull moment I suppose.

WARDED TO ROBBIE

Hi! How are you! Well I hope? It's a great day isn't it? Splendid! I love you, did you know? Well I do!




I'm working late tonight because Scrimgeour scheduled me to patrol a Quidditch match tomorrow so I want to get some of my work done tonight that I won't get done tomorrow because I may have said that I'd come in for emergency DMLE detail this weekend last week when you were gone but it was only because I didn't know if you'd be back and I really didn't want to spend Valentine's day weekend alone in my flat because that would be a real fuck up and I'm very sorry I am but I'll make it up to you next weekend or something alright and if you want to go to the game it's Kestrals vs the Magpies and believe me I'm not thrilled about the match up either and I hope it doesn't last too long since I'm going to pop into the office before and after the game to get things in order so that Sunday I don't have to be there longer than necessary and again I'm so sorry!

I'm really beginning to resent my dependence on coffee. But not enough to actually do anything about it.

WARDED TO ROBBIE

I'm meeting Rita for a drink after work tonight. So I'll be late(r than usual). Staying with your sister or do you want me to ward you whenever I get in?

WARDED TO RITA

Still on for tonight? I'll probably leave here around 8ish.

I want a cup of coffee and a fag. Whoever gets those to me first gets the bottle of tequila I'm not allowed to drown myself in today. Go.

WARDED TO ROBBIE (charmed to sound like nails on a chalk board)

If I wasn't so fucking worried about you I'd be bloody hacked off. It's my birthday, you daft twit. I know I said I didn't want a fucking present but that didn't mean I didn't want YOU. Now what am I supposed to do? You didn't even tell me where the fuck you were going so I could at least ask around. Am I supposed to list you as a missing person to the DMLE? But considering how disgustingly illegal whatever it is you're doing wherever the hell you are is I don't think it would do much good.

I swear to fuck if you're alive you are never leaving the bloody country again.

Are we giving advice now? Fantastic. Don't eat yellow snow.

WARDED TO ROBBIE (charmed to screech obnoxiously till read)

It's Tuesday. TUESDAY. You said you'd be back Monday. That was yesterday. Now. I've tried really hard not to be a fucking nag. Maybe you got in real late on Monday and just wanted to sleep? Seemed reasonable. But I went to Rita Skeeter's birthday thing and everyone was like "Where is Robbie?" and I can't be like "Fuck if I know!" so I was like "Oh he had some business" and waved it off but WHAT THE FUCK? At least give me a head's up!

WARDED TO MARLENE

Any word from your brother?